MELBOURNE – After a grueling few weeks of a micromanaging boss and staff cuts looming across the business local Procurement Advisor Pete Anderson could take no more and decided he will partake in the great Australian tradition of chucking a sickie.
“I started laying the foundation early on Monday morning”, said Mr. Anderson. “I told the team that I had a slight headache that started on Sunday and that my nose is itchy during the morning town hall meeting. By the end of the day I was coughing really loudly whenever someone walked by my desk.”
Mr. Anderson messaged the group in Slack on Tuesday morning saying he won’t be in. With an entire day at his disposal to visit his favourite cafe, see a midday movie at the local cinema or visit the driving range to perfect his swing his options were practically endless. At 11:27AM he was still on the couch under a blanket deeply enthralled in an Askreddit thread about fun facts.
By 3:14PM he progressed to ordering Thai food while watching 27 episodes of Weird History on the YouTube app before moving to TikTok.
When 5:27PM rolled around Mr. Anderson decided he needed to start the day, but noticed it was getting dark so instead he proceeded to read the comments on a news.com.au article about immigration.
That evening he conceded that he felt much worse than he would have if he had just gone to work.